Chapter 3: Abused

The end of my freshman year I got into my first real relationship. He was Dusty’s best friend, Mario. And it started off great but it did not end that way. I was with Mario for about a year, and things got bad right after I lost my virginity to him. I don’t remember the night really, we all just got done partying and I was really drunk. All I remember was it hurt, and I don’t even think I agreed to doing it. But I was blind. I thought I loved him, but the only reason I was with him was because he made me feel good about myself (which I now see is stupid). He was abusive in the verbal fact, always making me feel like I was worthless and stupid. It really struck at my self esteem. And yet I stayed. I remember one night Dusty had to stop him from almost hitting me and I broke down, if Dusty was not there I would have probably done something bad to myself. During this same time I was really depressed, my manic depressive attacks were very common and Mario could not handle them. So instead of supporting me, he made me feel like I was a freak. I remember losing 15 pounds in one week because I was so depressed I stopped eating. This was by far the worse relationship I ever got into. Then one day he hit me because he was mad at his sister and I wouldn't let him hurt her, and so I left him. . I was now free, but still hurt. I felt alone once again…